“In my job, I can treat each individual with dignity and do my best to hear their story and elicit the information I need to see if there is a protection we can offer them.”
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Friends Seminary?
The Meetinghouse.
How did your Friends journey begin?
I was in a program called Prep for Prep and was applying to independent schools for middle school. We had to make a list of six schools. Like many students from Brooklyn in Prep For Prep I assumed I was going to school in my home borough, fortunately for me I ended up at Friends. I will never forget my interview with David Lieber and I was basically like “yea I’m going to Poly but this is a nice school too” and him holding back a grin. I remember going to Meeting and like every applicant, being sure that the whole school heard every creek my bench was making. Long story short, David and Hariet, my teachers at Prep, my parents knew me better than I knew myself and I was so happy to have been accepted because it was the perfect fit. There are so many great schools in the city, but looking back I can’t imagine having been anywhere else that matched me and also let me thrive in a way that I am grateful for.
What are some of your most memorable moments from your time at Friends?
Very dated, but like every school in the 90s, watching our end-of-year slideshow in the lower school gym to “Time of Your Life” by Green Day and The Sunscreen Song by Baz Luhrmann. Playing every kind of game in that courtyard, and Mr. Schwartz walking by with his tray and making us let him get a shot in with one hand until he made it in. Going to Mariella’s for lunch and watching “The Price is Right”. Shopping for videos in Chinatown for Anime Club. A big highlight was when Ray Lacen let me warm up in the recently-opened Brooklyn Cyclones bullpen and when I later got my first (and only) RBI at our last game, senior year. I do also remember in tenth grade my grades were slipping and Ray let me know in no uncertain terms that 1) I was not going to be a Yankee and 2) my education was important and so I would be off the team if it didn’t turn around (I think only he could have said that to me and it worked). The mentorship, tough conversations, but also good times with all the coaches like Ray, Warren, Pierre, David was huge looking back. I don’t consider myself an athlete (that’s not humility, I’m not), but I played a sport almost every season and they had a huge hand in forming who I became. There are so many more positive ones, but I also have to mention 9/11, walking out of Calculus second period and going from the Annex to the school, seeing the ash like a fog in the street. No one knew what was going on and at the same time, the meeting house was being renovated so we were across the street at the church for a few weeks which just added to how eerie that whole month was.
Who are some former FS teachers/staff that you remember fondly?
I think every alum would say there are too many. Not only the teachers that stayed for many years and who are still there but also those that came in for a couple of years. I would definitely say Mr. Schwartz and senior year where we had Greek independent study. Like most teachers at Friends, he held the bar high but made it fun – I wasn’t really nervous but wanted to do my best which I think is a very delicate and difficult thing for a teacher to instill in a student. We also thought it was hilarious whenever he and Mr. Byrne would always crack jokes at each other whenever they would switch classrooms. I’ve always loved history and ended up majoring in it so I must thank Charlie Blank and “Facing History and Ourselves,” probably the most powerful class I’ve ever taken that still shapes how I interact with the world, media, current events, etc. Another favorite was “Ethnic New York” with Raoul Meyer – I loved going to a neighborhood every weekend and learning about it. It’s one of those classes that I think could only be done in NYC and only at Friends, but every time I go back home for a visit or in any city I’m in, I always have that ‘ethnic NY’ historical lens. Maria Fahey was and is amazing, I appreciate (now) tough standards she had for us in our writing. I write a lot for my job, and I can sometimes see her red pen telling me things like “why do you need to say ‘very’ to convince me, just do it with the writing,” and things like that. She improved the way I write and made me very proud of my writing. Also, Bob who substitute taught for us throughout the years was always great - I’m glad we reconnected at a recent reunion.
What are some recent FS events you have attended?
Since I’ve moved from New York, I’ve always tried my best to come back to the Holiday Assembly and I had the chance to do that with my wife and son this year which was great. I went to Reunion a couple of years ago and it was great to catch up with everyone.
In what ways have Quaker values and your experience at Friends influenced the work you do today?
I remember once Mr. Schwartz remarking how unfortunate it was that we didn’t interact as much with Xavier High School since Quaker and Jesuit spirituality have so much in common. I had no idea what a Jesuit was but some time later, I ended up joining the Jesuits for a little more than four years as a seminarian. Ironically enough, it was those Quaker values of silence, intellectual curiosity, open-mindedness, and everyone’s inherent worth that drew me to a Catholic religious order. Even now those fundamentals are still in me. The need to slow down, acknowledge the limits of my knowledge, and embrace the worth of everyone by recognizing the Light in them (especially if and when I don’t want to) are always important. I wish I could say I always do that, but am on the journey. I think especially though the silence, even when uncomfortable, is important for me and any of us, rather than the quick decision made in haste.
How do you understand the work you do now as bringing about a world that ought to be?
Government is so big, immigration law is so vast and complex, and I work in a very small corner of those things. In my job, I can treat each individual with dignity and do my best to hear their story and elicit the information I need to see if there is a protection we can offer them. It can be stressful like any job and personally jarring, so even if I can’t arrive at an outcome that an individual wants, I can always acknowledge their humanity in my interaction with them and also ensure that they are aware of the next steps in the process. I think ideally, we all hope to work in a world where there would never be a need for asylum, but in the meantime, at work, I hope I can bring about the world that ought to be for each individual.
What are your hopes, dreams and plans for your work in the future?
I hope to become better and better at my job the more I learn and do my best for every applicant, whatever the decision I have to make is. Also recognizing each applicant as an individual who is at the door of a very important step in their life rather than a file or number.
Is there anything else you wish to share with me that I didn’t ask you about?
If any Friends alums are in Chicago, I’d love to connect.
Comments